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Self Love and Self Care--Do they go Hand in Hand?

Organic Mama

Posted on March 22 2019

Let me start by saying I'm not looking for any sort of sympathy here.  I'm just being honest.  And on this one, I know I am not alone.

Self love.  Self care.  What does that even mean?  Are they synonymous?  Does one connect with the other?  Do I only love myself if I care for myself?  Do I only care for myself if I love myself?

Why do I find it so hard to put myself first and make myself a priority?

Basically, it all started with a gift certificate.  For my last birthday, my friends got together and got me a gift certificate for the local manicure place...for $100.  They wanted me to be able to go multiple times and have multiple treatments--to really take care of myself.

Okay so my birthday was 10 months ago.

And I have in total used $0 of my gift certificate.

That's awful.

In 10 months, I couldn't find the time to make myself a priority and get a mani or pedi.  Now, I know there are people for whom that's not a priority--they just don't care.  So, I do.  I feel absolutely naked without color on my toes.  I just do it myself to save time.  

Once upon a time, I used to get weekly mani/pedis.  I used to get my hair blow waved once a week just like my Grama (well, she had a perm and had it curled but you get the picture).  I wouldn't leave the house without makeup.  Glasses were what you wore before and after you put on your contacts.

I'm not sure when the shift happened--most likely when I became a parent--when I stopped being the centre of my own universe.

And as the years have passed, I've certainly fallen lower and lower on the totem pole of priority.

If someone is getting something new, it's most likely one of the kids.  Next, the house, and finally, my husband.  

Why? No clue.

You know what I love to buy myself?  Pajamas.  I LOVE pajamas. Pretty ones, soft ones, ones that make me want to cuddle up and relax.

Maybe the problem with self care for me is it takes time away from doing all of the things I feel I have to do all of the time.

But I've made a conscious decision to try and prioritise myself, to self love, to self care.  

I've recently been making myself appointments for things like the osteo, physio, and even the eye doctor.  Things that I NEED to do for self care, for my own health.

I've been walking--which has been helping a lot with my anxiety.

I've been cleaning and organising which helps me feel more in control of things.  

But I'm going to try and go deeper.  And that starts with a pampering day.  I'm going to get that mani/pedi.  I'm going to get a massage.  Maybe I'll even get myself a $16 smoothie bowl if I feel like it!

I have two friends who have done a "Year of Me" in which they make a conscious effort to make themselves a priority.  I don't think that means putting anyone else lower on the list, but more rightly, prioritising youself a little bit more.  While I'm not sure I'm quite cut out for a "Year of Me," I think I might try to have a few more "Day's of Me."

We've got to care for ourselves so we can love ourselves.  And we're got to love ourselves enough to care for ourselves.

I'm going to give it a go...stay tuned.


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